Lifting the Fog From Doubting Thomas: Part 3-Thomas Has FOMO

FOMO

I had several vacation trips scheduled this year, so I chose not to attend my Sorority’s biennial national convention. If I had made that choice in the 80s or 90s, I would have had no regrets. Today, social media has bombarded me with pictures, videos, posts, and other news snippets about the convention. I truly experienced FOMO, especially when I saw the video of the Silverfox Squad strutting into the convention space.

FOMO (fear of missing out) creates a feeling of regret, envy, longing, or yearning. FOMO may also spark a “sour grapes” attitude: “It’s not all that interesting.” Or, in frustration of missing out, FOMO may incite a desire for a similar experience. One year when I did not attend the national convention, a group of my sorority sisters met for dinner to commensurate. Maybe our “doubting” Thomas also had FOMO.

A Missing Link in John 20:19-29

I realized I had skimmed over v 20 as I read that passage about Thomas. When Jesus appeared among the disciples hiding in the locked room, He showed them His wounds. Many commentaries state that Jesus did this to prove that the Person the disciples were seeing was not an imposter. But Thomas was absent from the group that day.

Thomas Had FOMO

I have been questioning whether Thomas expressed doubt in v 25. My Aunt Beverly provided a unique perspective when she commented that maybe Thomas said what he did because he was disappointed. He was experiencing FOMO. He had missed out on seeing Jesus:

• at the empty tomb.
• on the road to Emmaus.
• in the locked upper room.
• with His wounds.

Not only had Thomas missed seeing Jesus on His first visit to the upper room, but he also missed seeing the proof that Jesus provided. Let’s consider Thomas’ statement from a FOMO perspective:

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“Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.” (John 20:25 NRSVUE)

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Was Thomas so shattered about missing Jesus that he adopted a sour grapes attitude? “It couldn’t have happened since I didn’t see it.” Or, was he demanding to have the same experience? “I want what you had.” Did Thomas covet what his fellow disciples had?

The Effects of FOMO

On the one hand, FOMO may spur positive action, such as inspiring me to make definite plans to attend the next biennial convention. On the other, if v 25 was a FOMO reaction from Thomas, he put himself in a precarious position with God. FOMO mainly creates negative emotions.

• Comparison: Comparing myself to others. “Comparison is the thief of joy.”[1]
• Sour grapes: Begrudging someone else’s joy because I did not receive that joy
• Envy: Resenting others for the experience I did not have
• Worry: Feeling anxious or fearful that I missed something important
• Regret: Feeling self-pity

FOMO is wanting what others have, and the Bible defines that as covetousness. Exodus 20:17, traditionally the tenth commandment, clearly instructs me not to covet anything that belongs to my neighbor. I would include nonmaterial things such as joy, peace, and happiness.

Overcoming FOMO

This is the one commandment that requires me to control my internal behaviors: my thoughts. According to the ancient philosopher Laozi, thoughts—wants, desires, aspirations—shape who I am.

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“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”

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FOMO begins with my thoughts of coveting. How can I (we) overcome thoughts of covetousness? The apostle Paul provided sound advice for monitoring our thoughts. In his letter to the Philippians, he wrote:

“Finally, believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart].” (Philippians 4:8 AMP)

Experiencing FOMO? Take time to:

• Be grateful for what you have.
• Give God thanks for His blessings.
• Be mindful of God’s will in your life.
• Remember God has plans specifically for you.
• Ask for forgiveness and redirection.
• Prioritize your relationship with God.
• Be a true friend who can rejoice with others.
• Add your own idea

Reflection

Think of a time when you experienced FOMO. What did you covet? Did your FOMO inspire you to positive action or negative thoughts? How can Philippians 4:8 help you with FOMO?

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Lifting the Fog from Doubting Thomas, Part 1: Who Was Thomas

Lifting the Fog from Doubting Thomas, Part 2: Conditional Thomas

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[1] A quote attributed to President Theodore Roosevelt