Spill the T (or tea). I first heard this phrase watching a television “reality” show. I learned that T actually stands for “truth.” Spill the T originally referred to sharing a personal or closely-held fact or truth about one’s self. The phrase eventually expanded to sharing personal information about someone else, that is, gossip.
Does the Bible give me wisdom on spilling tea? I know of many Proverbs about spilling the tea on someone else, that is, gossip tea. Does God provide guidance on spilling my personal tea? In Part I, I examined spilling my own tea. Here, in Part II, I will share my insights on spilling gossip tea.
While asking for forgiveness during prayer one morning, a voice clearly said, “Don’t talk about anyone.” I interpreted that as “do not gossip” and promised that I would refrain from doing so for that day (baby steps). Then the enemy whispered, “Recounting facts is not gossip.” I almost bought into that, but then countered that if I am “recounting facts” in order to disparage or ridicule someone else, I AM gossiping.
Let me define gossip broadly:
- Spreading rumors, lies, or innuendo
- Telling a secret shared with you privately
- Sharing someone else’s personal business
- Recounting facts to damage another’s reputation
- Listening to rumors or derogatory talk about another
- What can you add to this list?
In essence, gossip is spilling someone else’s tea. Spilling gossip tea is never for the benefit or uplifting of that person. Gossip is intended to hurt, humiliate, or malign. As a matter of fact, Proverbs 12:18 (NIV) clearly states, “The words of the reckless pierce like swords.”
Let me be honest. Knowing the dirt on someone else, especially someone I do not like, is entertaining. It fosters a feeling of superiority. Spilling gossip tea allows me to create and perpetuate a negative image about another. “Gossip is so tasty—how we love to swallow it” (Proverbs 18:8 GNT). But what is tasty is not always good for me. Gossip tea may be sweet on first sip, but in truth, it is acidic. It burns a hole in my spirit, separating me from God. Spilling tea undermines my relationship with God who tells me, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29 ESV). Spilling gossip tea destroys relationships with family members. With friends. With colleagues. With fellow congregants.
But it’s so tasty. Like the apostle Paul, I wrestle with reveling in the sin of gossip and dwelling in God’s law[1]. However, I never want to be perceived as wicked, foolish, untrustworthy, reckless, or perverse[2]. God is very specific about gossip: DON’T DO IT! If I am sharing T without permission, if I am relating a story to bring someone low, if I am participating in a “spill the tea” gossip party, then I have broken God’s law. As a matter of fact, Paul grouped gossipers with God-haters[3]—definitely not a grouping that I want to be affiliated with. I want to maintain and grow my relationship with God; I must make that conscious, deliberate decision to not gossip. I must call on the strength of the Holy Spirit indwelling in me to fight my inclination to indulge in spilling gossip tea!
Reflection: Think of a time when you have spilt the tea. Why did you do it? How did you harm that person? Have you asked for forgiveness?
Final thought: If you are spilling tea about someone else, please believe that someone is spilling tea about you.
[1] Read Romans 7:14-25
[2] Proverbs 11:12-13, 12:18, 16:28, 20:19, and 26:20
[3] Romans 1:29-30
