As I reclined in the dentist’s chair with my mouth agape, the dental hygienist cleaned my teeth. She used her dental inspection mirror to examine areas of my mouth not readily visible. Reflexively, my tongue wanted to go where she was working, so she also used that tool to keep my tongue out of her way. She tamed my tongue so that she could do her job. The hygienist’s taming of my tongue reminded me that God wants me to tame my tongue.
Throughout the Bible are scriptures that describe the contradictory nature of the tongue. James 3:9-10 very succinctly tells me that with my tongue I praise God with my Hallelujahs and Amens, yet with that same tongue I gossip and malign my fellow humans. In 21 different Proverbs scriptures, I find that my tongue can be a blessing and a balm; conversely, that same tongue can create deceit and destruction. These opposites—exalt and curse, praise and condemn—cannot dwell together. I need to decide how my tongue will be used.
In this social media and electronic communication era, the “tongue” includes both spoken and written communication. I must consider not only the words I speak or write, but the tone used to convey those words. Separately and together, the tone and the words can be detrimental or constructive. Just the other day, in an angry state, I typed a vitriolic text reply. Thanks to God for keeping my finger from hitting “Send.” Proverbs 10:19 advises me that taming my tongue is prudent. In other words, I should stop and think before I speak or send that email or text. I need to consider the impact of my words.
In my spirit, I knew my text message was unnecessarily harsh. Thanks to the Holy Spirit for giving me forethought to seek advice from a trusted friend. Proverbs 11:12 affirms the wisdom of taming my tongue. Understanding that rash words can cause damage and restraining myself from such show that I have some sense.
Because I was replying to someone I had recently reconnected with, I did not want to derail the rebuilding process. Thanks to God for that friend who calmed me and helped me create a more appropriate message. Proverbs 21:23 assures me that taming my tongue avoids calamity. The tongue has the power of life and death (Proverbs 18:21). If I had sent that original text, it would have been the death of a budding friendship.
God’s Word is the inspection mirror I use to control my words. Admittedly, there will be times when I will get in my own way of communicating in a God-like manner. However, I will continually strive to use my tongue to lift up rather than tear down. With the power of the Holy Spirit indwelling in me, I choose to tame my tongue. I invite you to join me in that choice.
Reflection: Search the Bible for those scriptures that describe the contradictions of the tongue. Select those verses that you can use as your mirror to tame your tongue.
Thank you Sabrina. I just had a moment last night where I wish I had “tamed my tongue” and felt remorse. I was grateful for the moment because it also showed me that I was aware enough to realize I had made a mistake. I was able to return with more compassion to the next interaction a few minutes later. So good. On a side note – it’s always been funny to me when dentists ask me questions while they have their instruments in my mouth! Ha. They feel compelled to interact even though they are the person preventing us to verbally communicate in that moment. So interesting! Keep writing!
I agree. Remorse is a tool we can use to examine and correct ourselves. (And yes, I never understood why the dental crew feel a need to converse with me.)
Thanks Sabrina. A good reminder to consider the timing and the words we use. I always remember the old saying my grandparents instilled in me … If you can’t say something good to or about someone then it best not to say anything.
And of late since email came along I always try to wait at least an hour to reply to an email that rubs me the wrong way. The wait allows me time to craft a well thought out reply.
I definitely did the one hour wait when I was working.
I totally agree with you on this one. I have stuck my foot in my mouth so many times that it is not funny. Only if I had just taken an extra moment to think before I communicated. We do not always communicate wrongly in anger either. I know this for a fact that communications as a joke is not always funny, but can be very hurtful. Retirement has given more time to pause, for both words and actions. Life is so much more wonderful now. Patience has been a real blessing for me.
So true. And it’s hard to convey the tone of a “joke” in written form.